getting better
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: 1, 2 step - ciara
EXAMS ARE DONE!! A+ ON ALL WOOOOOOOT. so0o glad exams are done! they make me so0o nervous! but I did well on these ones! wooot 98% on my vocal exam...am I proud? frigg yah!

but yah....a lil problem has occured. the girl i was talking about before...well during the summer she claimed a guy beat on her..and he didnt at all, but she went to the cops and told this whole story about how he hit her and what not...but he didnt:S he didnt even touch her...but ne way, shes bringing it back up now, and if I dont write a statment saying that he did hit her, she might have to move schools...but im not gunna write something that isnt tru. Now i dunno what to do becuase like honestly if i even saw a guy take a swing at a girl id tell someone..but she seems to be telling everyone he did when he didnt hit her at all. If i dont write the statment she wants, she'll start saying shit about me and maybe move schools. but if I so write what she wants me to write, then ill get this guy in trouble fer something he didnt do..god I hate this:|

snowboarding season if finally here!! yessssaaaa! lovin the hills, started off shity this year, but im improveing. havnt broke ne thing yet so its all good :P few bumps and bruses...but its all fer the kick ass time of boarding! loves it. Hilary ur gunna love boarding...it'll be like the love or ur life...other then me:P cause yah know..its like we are in love and SHtuff ;) we are getting drunk very soon my dear...paaarty. woot :P alritghty, im gunna go practice guitar

nuff love! -xo- Sammert <3

giving up
Mood:  down
Now Playing: true-ryan cabrera
you know...i use to think being alone wasnt all that bad, cause u can do w.e u want, whenever u want, look at ne one you want and not get in trouble for it...but I was wrong, it sucks, i hate it with a passion. I mean, seeing all my friends with ppl they are dateing, or going to date...and then theres me, the *friend*, ppl tell me im awesome and im loveable and im a reallie nice and very *pretty* person....but apparently im either being lied to or haveing a good, sweet personality is horrible and repulsive. im sry im not a model or extremely gorgeous...if I could change it, i wouldnt think 2wice about it, it would be done in a heart beat. I love being the friend dont get me wrong...but I hate knowing thats all ill ever be, to ne one, no matter what i do or how i look, im never good enough...

I just dont know anymore
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: everybodys fool - evanescence
ill start with some good news first...IM SINGING IN TORONTO 2MOROW !!! I cant wait im so0o freakin excited..seriously, this is like a dream come tru..ive been singing since i could learn how to talk..and now i get my chance to have other people hear me...the only down part it im scared outa my effin mind..like I cant wait, but o0o my dear lordy.. gunna be of people, and I just dont want to mess up you know? but now to what i reallie wanted to let out..

Im so..confused I guess is good word for this. I dont know what to think or feel or expect any more. When it comes to my friends, they are all so hard to read now, some cant even be botherd with, and others are so much, their attitudes are jus..not the same as they use to be. Its like what I have to say means nothing to any of them any more. I honestly feel like I have no one to talk to or let anything out to. I have a couple of friends who are now hanging around this girl who i have known for so long..and she is not exactly *friend* material any more. she talks shit behind peoples backs, she lies all the time, you cant tell her anything that u would like to be kept a secret, she'll have the whole school knowing within a day. and I told my friends how i felt about her and how I dont want to get myself in another fight with her, so i will stay away as shes around...one of them got mad and signed offline and the other was just confused, it was like what i said meant NOTHING. they are 2 of my closest friends...but sometimes i jus dont feel like they want me around:S So... thats one problem with very few detail, trust me I could go on for hours..

Another *common* problem that i know all sick of hearing....xx BOYZ xx I swear to god...if I EVER find one guy that isnt shallow, selfish and has a heart ill die of shock. I am so0o sick of being judged...I mean, y is it every guy I like I get the excuse * I dont wanna ruin our friendship * [or]* I dont know, we'll c how things go...2 weeks go by...a month .. oh im going out with this girl now! u think u could help me plan a little date..* oh sure! y not! not like u can remember me! like fuck ...first off if I EVER hear the i dont want to loose our friend ship excuse one more time...ill throw up, it basically means - - :i dont like you so give up now: - -. Guys...ugh, I dunno..again i could go on fer days about this one...I mean, not to sound like a complete complainer...but im s0o0o SICK of being * the good friend * , i admit, i love knowing they can come to me and talk to me...but I hurt to know that there is someone who cares for me, who loves to be there for me, someone I can share everything with, someone who will make me feel so loved and so special ( im almost done with sappy, bare with me.. )Who will always listen no matter what the problem is, someone to hold, someone to make me feel safe...but the chances of that are like 1 outa a million...fer me anyway :( I mean, they always say they HATE when girls complain about how they look, yet they are not understanding that they are the ones who get us doing it...I mean, I have never felt so ugly and so fat and so..worthless. I jus dont know what to do with myself, I mean its like you have to be 100 pounds, gorgeous and invisible when u turn sideways to even get a guy to notice you...its reallie pathetic...trust me, if I could change how I look, i would do it in a heart beat...and im working on it.

never believe the saying * its not whats on the outside..its whats on the inside that counts * because its whats on the outside that most guys go for.

well im out...got some hw to finish up and I wanna end this before I get angry...so ill write back soon

love*:. Sammie. G